An Essay on an Outstanding Person and Actor with Existential Questions
Perhaps no one has done more to advance Parkinson’s research than Michael J. Fox – the Canadian actor. The recipient of many awards and highly acclaimed achievements was diagnosed with Parkinson’s when he was just twenty-nine. Three decades later, Fox concedes he is losing the battle with Parkinson’s.
Climbing the Ladder to Success
Michael J. Fox was twenty years old when he landed his career-making role as Alex P. Keaton in NBC’s Family Ties. The sitcom show played for seven seasons and won many awards, including three consecutive Emmy Awards for Michael J. Fox as Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. (1)
Still in his twenties, Fox starred in a movie that became the world’s highest-grossing film up to 1985. Back to the Future, a science-fiction movie, thirty-eight years later, is considered by critics to be one of the greatest science-fiction films and among the best films ever made. (2)
The much-loved actor had reached the dizzying heights of fame. In his book “Lucky Man” he jokingly mocked the accoutrements of his early success:
“I owned a Ferrari, a Range Rover, a Mercedes 560SL convertible, a Jeep Cherokee and a Nissan 300ZX. I can’t remember the intricate decision tree I had to climb in order to determine which one to drive to work on any given day – it probably had something to do with the weather, or which car had more gas in the tank, or upholstery that best matched whatever shirt I happened to throw on that morning.”
The gold bars of success piled up on top of each other. Success on top of success until success seemed inevitable for any role the iconic young actor played.
Jesus reminded people about something of far greater value than gold bars of success and fame. Jesus asked a very searching set of questions:
What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? Mark 8:36-37
Earlier Years in Canada
Fox’s earliest years in Canada were in his rearview mirror. Hearing the Bible preached and being reminded of eternal matters and Heaven and Hell was a childhood experience. The bus preacher at the carnival seemed unwisely sensational as he warned of perishing in Hell. His message so frightened young Fox he didn’t stay to hear the good news about a relationship to enjoy with Christ in this life and Heaven afterwards.
In Fox’s second memoir Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist (2009), he mentions the bus preacher again.
For a nine-year-old, Heaven existed just outside of that Bible bus—the distance of a few steps it took to reach the midway and the rides, noise, mystery and mayhem of a summer’s day. Beyond the fair, there were a thousand further iterations of Heaven – camping trips and hockey games, leaning forward in social studies class to get the full effect of whatever shampoo that pretty girl who sat in front of me was using. It never occurred to me that any of these pleasures were a reward for being a pretty good kid…
The pleasures of Heaven are never gained as a reward. The Bible is clear about that.
Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9 NLT
Sadly, instant self-gratification – what we can enjoy here and now, takes precedence over matters of far greater importance. Too many are so blinded by the glitter and glare of the fleeting attractions of this life they can’t see the realities of the next. So busy chasing bubbles they have no time to think about what they possess after they burst.
The Bible says:
Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. 1 John 2:15-17
In his early teens, Fox became friends with Russell, whose family were authentic Christians. Fox said: “When they went on road trips, they would sing hymns in the car to pass the time away.” He saw the sincerity and reality in this family that he felt he didn’t see watching televangelists on TV. He was impressed with their kindness and personal integrity. (3)
As you read this story of Michael J. Fox, have you had the privilege of meeting someone whose peace, satisfaction, joy, kindness and integrity obviously came from an inner fountain of living water?
Jesus said: whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14
God graciously works in the life of every individual. Repeatedly throughout the Bible, readers are reminded of God’s love and how He reaches out to everyone in His desire to draw each one to Himself. (John 3:16, Matthew 11:28, John 1:12, Romans 5:6-8)
Unexpected Rung on the Ladder of Life
In 1991, just six years after his blockbuster success “Back to the Future,” the 29-year-old star received the devastating diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease. A year earlier, Fox woke up one morning with his left pinkie finger twitching uncontrollably. And then, the diagnosis was confirmed a year later by a Manhattan neurologist. That rainy day in 1991, Fox broke the news to his young wife, Tracy Pollan, as they held each other crying in the hallway of their home. She assured him she would be with him for the entire journey.
At a function in 2022, Fox reflected on processing the diagnosis of Parkinson’s. He told the audience: “The hardest part was grappling with the certainty of the diagnosis and the uncertainty of the situation.” (4)
After the diagnosis, Fox increasingly relied on alcohol to numb his deeper pain. Thanks to the intervention of his wife, he had his last drink one year later, in 1992. (5) Counselling helped Fox process the reality of living with Parkinson’s. In 1998 he publicly confirmed the diagnosis he had received seven years earlier.
On our site, read: MIT Professor Rosalind Picard: Atheist to Faith in Christ
Is There a Secure Footing in Life When Storms Strike?
Michael J. Fox said he was not “a subscriber to any particular orthodoxy.” He writes: “Optimism is my faith.” (6)
Eighteen years after his diagnosis, Fox reflected:
“Parkinson’s and alcohol took a sledgehammer to any illusions I may have had that I was in control. I came to accept that any disease or condition beyond my control is, in effect, a power greater than myself…To survive this destructive energy, I must look to an even higher power. For my purposes, I need neither define it nor have others define it for me, only accept its existence.” (7)
Optimism – the Higher Power
Like others, Michael J. Fox self-selected his own higher power. And for a while, his own creation seemed to work. He chose ‘Optimism’ as his source of strength and hope for today and the future. Others were impressed with his ‘higher power.’ “Optimism! That’s what works for him. A positive outlook in life will get me through too.”
Over the years since the diagnosis, Fox frequently mentioned “Optimism” as his light – so to speak. Despite the progressively debilitating nature of the disease, Fox accomplished an incredible amount of good as he thrived on the energy of Optimism. The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research has raised over $1.5 Billion. Fox became the most recognized advocate in the world for those with Parkinson’s. He has also written four memoirs since his diagnosis. Lucky Man (2002), Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist (2009), A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future: Twists and Turns and Lessons Learned (2010) and No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020).
Fox never fails to mention his love and gratitude for his wife, Tracy and their four children. As life becomes more challenging for him, his family and close circle of friends are his constant support. For those who have read his memoirs, one cannot help but be profoundly impressed with the mutual love and respect Fox and Pollan have for each other.
Resolve and Optimism Collide with Reality and the Inevitable
In recent years Fox has sustained numerous falls and broken bones and major spinal surgery to remove a benign tumour. Four months after relearning how to walk, he fell again in his Manhattan home, causing a spiral fracture of his left arm that required nineteen pins and a plate to stabilize. (8)
Understandably, Fox writes in his latest memoir:
“My mood darkens… In my life, at this moment, I am stretched by what I have to deal with. I’m at a new place with new thoughts. I’ve been pelted with too many lemons to even think about lemonade… I am bored with it. Bored with myself. Bored with this whole situation.” (9)
He is discouraged, and he can find no way to put a positive spin on his circumstances this time. Then he asks:
“Have I oversold Optimism as a panacea, commodified hope? …Things don’t always turn out…that brings me to an inflection point. Over the coming months, I will feel a shift in my worldview and struggle to believe in ideas that I’ve espoused for years. Have I reached a line beyond which there is no compromise or consolation. My Optimism is suddenly finite.” (10)
“I Fear I am Losing My Religion”
The higher power of Optimism is not high enough. Six decades into his life, he realizes his anchor, foundation, and higher power – whatever metaphor one wishes to employ is finite – not infinite.
When life’s foundation is nothing more than the bricks and mortar of our own ideas, opinions and perspectives, it can wobble and crumble quickly. When we create what is called “our own truth” – well, it may sound like impressive esoteric existential thoughts – but it will ultimately prove to be flimsy and unreliable. Read what Jesus said about the foundation of our lives.
Chapter 17 of Fox’s 2020 memoir is entitled Head Games. The opening paragraph goes like this:
“The artist/activist Anna Deavere Smith defines herself as a “hopeaholic.” Save me a seat at the next meeting: My name is Michael, and I am an optimist. But seriously, if Optimism is my faith, I fear I’m losing my religion. I always managed to accept life on life’s terms, and up to this point, I found those terms acceptable. I was able to take on whatever came my way, forge through it, no matter what. Now my attempt to make any sense of it leaves me feeling indifferent. I’m numb. Weary. Optimism, as a frame of mind, is not saving me.” (11)
Optimism may help you get by from day to day. Gratitude for the things you are still able to enjoy eventually gives way to the bigger picture of the future and the deeper questions of life and beyond. Between the lines of Fox’s prolific writings, one can clearly sense a spiritual craving for something more than ‘optimism.’
Read on this site the classic booklet God’s Way of Salvation
The Gift that Keeps on Taking
Early on, Micheal J Fox referred to Parkinson’s as a gift that allowed him to learn things in life.
“I have referred to it as a gift–something for which others with this affliction have taken me to task. I was only speaking from my own experience, of course, but I stand partially corrected: if it is a gift, it’s the gift that just keeps on taking.” (12)
Fox talked about his mortality in a 2023 interview with CBS Jane Pauley. Pauley had interviewed him 40 years earlier when he was on the cusp of success – before Parkinson’s.
Pauley said, “Every time I see you, I can see it’s taken a little bit more of something.”
“It’s been 30+ years; not many of us that have had this disease for 30 years. It sucks having Parkinson’s… I’m not gonna lie. It’s gettin’ hard; it’s gettin’ harder. It’s gettin’ tougher. Every day it’s tougher. But, but that’s, that’s the way it is. I mean, you know, who do I see about that? … I had spinal surgery. I had a tumour on my spine. And it was benign, but it messed up my walking. And then started to break stuff. Broke this arm, and I broke this arm, I broke this elbow. I broke my face. I broke my hand. …You don’t die from Parkinson’s; you die with Parkinson’s. I’m not gonna be 80. I’m not gonna be 80.” (13)
Then Pauley adds: “He does think about mortality, but at 61, he savours his past.”
The Bible talks about a gift that keeps on giving.
Jesus said: I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. John 10:28
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23
For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift— not from works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
Fear of the Expiration Date
Michael J Fox talks about his fears so eloquently.
“The third fear is like an inner minefield that you traverse as you identify, accept and process truths – such as the inexorable advance of middle age and beyond. It’s the realization that we all have an expiration date, secret but uncertain.” (14)
As Fox elaborates on his third fear in the final chapters of his book – it’s difficult to determine if he uses his immediate fear of falling or physical impact of the progression of Parkinson’s – or whether, in this section of his book, he is using physical and emotional fears as a metaphor for deep-seated existential and spiritual fears.
Fox refers to an emerging “existential crisis.”
“It’s the unknown dangers that paralyze: Darkness. Confusion. Solitude. Vulnerability. Essentially blindfolded, grasping for a familiar shape, a handhold that is stable and can be trusted… the stakes are high. I pray that I’ll find my way, however unsure I may be of the path.” Then he quotes: President Franklin D. Roosevelt: “Only a foolish optimist can deny the dark realities of the moment.” Fox ends the chapter: “I accept the optimist part, but now, I also admit to its foolishness.” (15)
On his mind is the past, present and the future. He writes:
“Whatever my physical circumstances are today, I will deal with them and remain present… As for the future, I haven’t been there yet. I only know I have one. Until I don’t. The last thing we run out of is the future.” (16)
Sadly, Fox’s concept of the future conflicts with reality. We will never run out of the future.
The Bible says God “has put eternity in the human heart.” Ecclesiastes 3:11
Unlike other species, God has dignified and honoured human beings with an eternal capacity. In this life, we are housed in our current body with all its frailties, but when we arrive at the “expiry date” we leave our remains with the undertaker/mortician while we move out into eternity. Yes, there is an eternal afterlife whether 6-footers (1.8m) believe it or not.
On NPR, Terry Gross asked Fox: “Some people believe that there is a future after death, that there’s an afterlife. Do you and did you ever believe that? Fox replied:
If I get to the bottom of the Cracker Jack box, then there’s a prize, I’m happy. But if there isn’t, I just enjoy the Cracker Jack. My happiness here doesn’t depend on something that it’s awaiting me after it. I don’t have a complex orthodoxy. I have a vague spiritualism that tells me if I live a good life, good things will happen. But I don’t have any expected reward or expected afterlife or anything like that. I just want to make the most of this life and make as positive of an impact I can on people around me and be grateful for their love and attention and try to do something, you know, worthwhile and not counting on getting a do-over. (17)
“I Don’t Wanna Die.”
The concluding chapter of his 2020 memoir is entitled “Midnight in the Garden.” In the last pages of the last chapter, Fox writes about attending a concert at Madison Square Garden. Vampire Weekend is the name of the band playing. He sings along as they sang the chorus of their hit Harmony Hall –
“I don’t wanna live like this …but I don’t wanna die.” And then he writes – “God, tell me about it! … The question is, which part of the dialectical pronouncement carries the most weight?” (18)
The Bible says: “It is appointed for people to die once—and after this, judgment.” Hebrews 9:27 – “Prepare to meet your God.” Amos 4:12
Personal Note and Prayer for Michael J Fox
Mr. Fox, in writing this essay, I have been reminded of your extraordinary success. I have been deeply moved by your remarkable resilience. As you face the deeper questions of life and beyond, I encourage you to consider God and His desire to have a relationship with you through personal faith in Jesus Christ. Despite your earlier negative impressions, open up to God today. I would encourage you to read or listen or watch the entire Gospel of John in the Bible. God offers you an eternally secure foundation upon which optimism, hope and peace can be securely founded. My prayer for you and those you love is that you will embrace Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord and enter into the joy and peace He offers you in this life and the one to come.
Sources
1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Ties
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_to_the_Future
3. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/youngfogey/2013/10/the-tragedy-of-michael-j-fox
4. https://www.today.com/popculture/michael-j-fox-gets-honorary-oscar-parkinsons-work-emotional-ceremony-rcna58059
5. https://people.com/tv/michael-j-fox-stopped-drinking/
6. No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020), p. 41
7. Lucky Man: Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist (2009)
8. https://www.christianpost.com/voices/new-memoir-showcases-michael-j-foxs-optimism.html
9. No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020) p. 159
10. No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020) p. 160
11. No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020)
12. Lucky Man: Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist (2009)
13. . https://www.cbsnews.com/news/michael-j-fox-on-parkinsons-and-how-he-finds-optimism-is-sustainable/
14. No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020) p.186
15. No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020) p.187
16. No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020) p.187
17. https://www.npr.org/2020/12/21/947962393/michael-j-fox-reflects-on-life-with-parkinsons-in-no-time-like-the-future
18. No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality (2020) p.225
Other References:
Well written, and thank you for caring enough about a stranger to take the time to compile this. I was hoping to get to the end and see that he had gotten saved. I will pray that he does! There is hope for him and everyone. Jesus saves!! Thank you, and God bless you for writing this.
My hopes exactly
Breaks my heart that Michael doesn’t believe in Heaven. I grew up with him and can only hope he will indeed seek JESUS before he leaves this world. 🙏🏻 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
So many will leave this temporal life of wealth and enter into the poverty of an eternal hell, separated from God. Why oh why oh why can one not believe there is a sovereign creator that has say so. Everything we see and touch from a phone a book, clothing, a car all has a creator, but people wont believe there is a creator of this earth, animals, plants and humans. Every human being, plant, and animal has a different DNA. Soooooo perplexing to me. God’s Say so is his Holy Word. Everybody has say so but our God and Savior Jesus Christ doesn’t….?
I would like to know if you are from the State of Maryland
Michael, I would hope that you could just explore the Bible and know that God has great love for you. He did not slick you with this disease, but he did allow it. For what reason we won’t know. But, all the good that you do and have done and will do, will not get you to heaven or make you happy. You know by now that’s the only way is a personal relationship with Jesus. That is not a difficult thing. It does not mean that you have to change anything in your life, God will do that if he sees that it needs changing. All you have to do is say I want you to be my Lord and Savior Jesus. He will do that for you. That goes for anyone who reads this message as well. If you do that I would then say find a good church to go to so that you can continue to learn about who God is and to spend time with more of his people. Be sure to understand that the church isn’t always perfect.
Totally agree and we pray without ceasing for God’s intervention for a soul in Christ 🙏
I hope for Michael that he would search his inner consciousness that says everyone has a void that at can only be filled by God. God has always loved us as He created the world and Man is God’s finest achievement and He made him in His image-the only creation like this Michael is so loved by the world but this won’t get him to Heaven He needs to be whole again and only God can do this The devil has tortured Mike enough
Incredible, thought provoking, as a person realises that we are sinners and our only hope of rescue and forgiveness is by seeking Jesus Christ to forgive our sins and wrong doing. We can repent and be completely changed with a new spiritual life within us, Jesus explained this in John Ch 3 as being “born again” . This takes away any fear of death as we are sure of eternity in Heaven 1 John 5:13, I’m so thankful for a living God who loves me.
With Mr Fox growing realization that his religion of Optimism will not get him through Parkinsons, the fact that he know everyone has an expiration date, may he come to the realization that Christ has been extending his hand to him, waiting for him to grasp it. There is nothing here in this world that can promise life after life. Only Christ can.
Excellent article, the blending of a man’s life experience, his quest to survive an illness with his religion Optimism, in comparison to the words of Jesus… by having faith in his saving power. I pray that Michael will see the love, hope and optimism that Jesus provides in a relationship with Him.
Not to long ago I took a major stroke. I thought as a pastor my life was over. Fought many battles with my self and God and those around me. I realized my battle wasn’t with God. But with my past that I never dealt with. I found out the God of my good times was also the same God in my pain. Michael j fox has always been my favorite actor. All can say Michael don’t let go of God. I’m doing what I know best pastoring. But it was out of my pain that through Jesus pain I was able to see mine. Thank GOD as for you I too have a very caring wife. She is a God sent. Love to meet you some day or better yet I believe we will
God be with you
Yours truly Bob
Our prayer is that Michael J. Fox will turn to God at this time and embrace Jesus Christ – the exclusive Way, the Truth and the Life. John 14:6
Hi Michael, religion doesn’t work it
Is faith in our Savior Jesus Christ and having a relationship with Him by prayer and reading the word of God. Fellowship with other Christians also. Go to a church that preaches the Bible. You will know as you ask the Holy Spirit.
You are absolutely right about what the Bible teaches when it comes to the forgiveness of sins, salvation and eternal life – Romans 5:1 Being justified by FAITH we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Acceptance of Christ alone brings a person into the family of God. Repentance of sin and faith in Christ is the starting point for a relationship with Christ. John 1:12 But to all who did receive him [Jesus], he gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in his name. Thanks so much.
Faith that works is not based on religion but on who “God Himself” is. Religion means not much without faith. Faith means everything. We are drawn to God by Himself. We do not draw God to us. Only by identifying God’s characteristics through the Scriptures can we know Him, His will, and our purpose. Once we know Him, we fall in love with Him and accept Him, His will, and His ways. His understanding becomes our understanding, even in our sadness and regret. He makes all things right. He makes us “right”. We feel His love and know He will take care of us, no matter what. Surrendering is hard until it’s not, and it’s all we have left. God is patient and will allow us the experiences we need to allow Him to perfect us. It is ultimately up to us to come to these conclusions. Through Jesus, we have all the access we need to the Father. We must confess that we are troubled, confused, weary, etc. He then begins a beautiful cleansing through forgiveness of all that has come between us. Once we are made “right”, we can share the fellowship that He wants with us, much like once we’ve corrected our children when they are young and they can see we did it because we loved them.
The gospel is found in 1 Cor 15:1-4. It is the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
It’s the hope of John 3:16 and with faith alone in what The Lord Jesus Christ did .
It’s not what we do. Rom 4:5 ‘not our works’! But faith alone!
Eph 2:8,9
By His Grace we are saved thru Faith.
And that not of ourselves !