It’s not uncommon for new Christians to sense a widening gap in the interests they share with their old friends. It’s highly normal for a new Christian to find a growing affinity with others who love the Lord Jesus. In fact, it would be abnormal for someone who claims to be a Christian not to be drawn to others who love Jesus.
Just hours before Jesus was arrested and subsequently crucified, He met with His disciples and talked to them about what would happen to Him and the implications for them. This intimate sharing is recorded in the Gospel of John. (Chapters 13,14,15,16, and 17) It would be a healthy thing for you to read this entire section of John. For our purpose, just now – read at least John 15 and then the transcript of Jesus’ prayer to His Father in Chapter 17.
- John 15:12, 17 – Love each other.
- John 15:18,19,20 – Don’t be surprised if the world doesn’t like you and turns against you.
- John 17 – Jesus prays on behalf of the tight-knit community of those who loved and followed Him back then and everyone in the future who would join ‘the family.’
John also wrote three letters to Christians, known as epistles: 1John, 2John and 3John. He talked about not loving the stuff of the world but rather loving other Christians. That’s one of the marks of a genuine Christian.
It is not easy saying ‘no’ to friends – especially old friends, longstanding friends, friends from childhood or friends with whom you once had a lot in common. Consider the pressure in this situation:
“Next weekend, we’re all getting together and heading out for a Self-Indulgence Retreat, and you gotta come. Remember all the blasts we’ve had in the past? And you’re just one of those friends that we definitely need to come if we’re going to have a good time. We heard that things are different now for you, and we’re cool with that – but we really need you next weekend. Give it your best shot to be with us.”
(Read something similar to this in Proverbs 1:10-19)
As a Christian, ‘hanging’ with old friends that you once had fun with before you were saved is probably one of the most dangerous things you can do. Yes, God expects us all to have friends, but here’s the reality: friends will hinder us spiritually or help us.
If you’re still comfortable with the stuff from your old life, then something is wrong. Why? Because a saved person has a brand new inner life. Simultaneous with your salvation was the entrance of the Holy Spirit within you. He dwells inside you, and He gives you new desires and a new love for everything that God loves. As you grow in Christ, you should enjoy, less and less, the old pleasures and friends of your life-before-Christ.
The Apostle John said that ‘who’ you love and, by extension, who you love being with is a key indicator of whether or not a person has been genuinely saved.
We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the [brothers and sisters.] Whoever does not love abides in death.1John 3:14
Or, in other words – if we love our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves we have life and light.
Of course, you will still care deeply about your old friends; but the nature of your relationship with them has definitely changed. Now you will have a burden for their salvation, and you will pray for them every day. Now, if you are with them, you will want opportunities to tell them about Christ and compassionately warn them of the consequences of sin and the realities of eternity. You will look for ways to maintain your relationship with them without compromising your Christian testimony – ultimately with the goal of winning them to Christ.
If you are going to grow and be fruitful for the Lord, you will need Christian friends – those who love Christ and are walking the talk. You need all the help you can get. So do I. We need spiritual friends who are enjoying Christ and their Bible who can help us along.
Look for Christian friends with whom you can talk about the Bible, share thoughts about your love for Christ, and share burdens with and, yes, pray together. God does not want you to be an isolated believer – an island to yourself. Under normal circumstances, God intends for you to be an active participant in a Christian community – surrounded by spiritual friends, helping and strengthening each other in the Lord.
Seek out healthy and spiritual relationships. Pray about finding a mature Christian who will not only be a friend but a mentor to you. Look for someone who knows their Bible and who impresses you with their love and devotion to Christ.
In addition to fellowshipping with Christian friends, the Lord would like you to be a part of the fellowship of a local church – which will be a topic for another e-lesson. In these relationships, there is both protection and opportunities for growth.
Assignment for today:
- Read Psalm 119:63. Underline the above-mentioned verses. As you read the letters (epistles) in the New Testament, notice the frequent references to ‘each other’, ‘one another’, ‘others’, etc.
- Pray that the Lord will bring into your life Christians who will be a rich blessing to your life.
- Pray that as you grow in Christ, you will be-friend other Christians and be a blessing to them.
