“I love it. I’ve never been happier. I’m totally satisfied. I feel so pumped. Finally, I’m going to church with a smile on my face. I can hardly wait until I get there. I feel so good every time I go. I love the way I worship there. Even the excitement of the crowds makes me feel so blessed and gives me spiritual adrenalin. I really get into it – even with my goose-bumps and shivers. I love the balance in the pulpit between teaching and humor as well as the pull and punch factor. I wouldn’t change one thing. Everything suits me to a T – if you know what I mean.”

At first glance, it sounds good – even if all the amateurish underlining above gets annoying! In fact, isn’t that the way church is supposed to be? Am I not supposed to have such feelings about my spiritual life and how I worship and serve? Is there anything wrong with having wholesome fun around the Word of God and Jesus?

Here’s what’s worrisome: years ago, I recall someone sending us occasional letters with a picture or two enclosed. The beautifully handwritten newsy letter had every first-person pronoun circled – every I, me, my and mine was carefully encased in a circle of ink. There was something about those letters – something just not quite right.

I am reading through the Acts of the Apostles this summer and I’ve also skimmed through a large chunk of the New Testament. Yes, there’s a certain aliveness to the chapters and the believers did have a heart-beat. Things certainly weren’t dull. Hearty singing, lots of praying and plenty of preaching – along with house-to-house hospitality, unity and a keen sense of purpose. But here’s the catch: nowhere does one get the sense that Christian living back then was a breeze, a lazy river sail, or an enjoyable stroll in the park – pleasurable, easy and fun.

If we’re trying to recapture the enjoyment and energy of those early years of Christian living – then add to the mix: hatred, ridicule, rejection, hardships, poverty and often martyrdom. Yes, there was a real sense of progress and optimism as the Gospel spread but there was nothing easy, relaxing or comfortable about Christian living — nothing that we would classify as ‘enjoyable’ today.

The environment for Christian testimony was often harsh and brutal; and yet, we read of their profound joy and boundless energy as they focused on fully following Christ – lives of self-denial and cross-bearing.

“I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ…” Apostle Paul, Philippians 3:8

Back then it was all about Christ and whether He would be pleased and whether He would be glorified – not about themselves and how it suited their preferences or likes and dislikes. Back then, Paul was willing to ‘suffer the loss of all things’ for Christ – not just at his conversion but throughout his Christian life.

And then there are the verses in Hebrews 10 about the robust and vibrant testimony for Christ and the spread of the Gospel.

But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Hebrews 10:32-34

Have you ever wondered if we are witnessing Narcissistic Hedonistic Creep in our spiritual lives? ‘Creep’ is defined as a slow move in a certain direction. Narcissism is self-centred living. Hedonism is all about pleasure and no pain in life. Is this tendency creeping into my heart?

Highly acclaimed researchers Drs. Twenge and Campbell in their secular book The Narcissism Epidemic, devote a chapter to religion – big churches, good coffee, large screens, great music, motivational speakers with fantastic stories and personal life messages with maybe, a Bible reference to Paul, etc. They call it a ‘customizable religious emporium’ with a huge degree of individual choice suitable for ‘today’s self-oriented culture’. Common are the expressions: ‘well, it works for me’ or ‘it’s where I’m at just now’ or ‘it meets my needs.’

A respected Christian writer and theologian, the late J.I. Packer, devoted a chapter to Hot Tub Religion in his book God’s Plans for You. Have you ever sunk deep down into a hot-tub and sighed: “Ah, it feels so good?” What is my goal spiritually? Is my ultimate desire to be able to eventually sigh with a smile: “Ah, it all makes me feel so good?”

Paul said his ultimate goal was to ‘know‘ Christ – better, deeper and more fully. (Philippians 3:10) Later, he wrote Timothy about being a good soldier and reminded him that it was all about, not pleasing himself, but about ‘pleasing him‘ who enlisted him originally. (2Timothy 2:4)

Could narcissistic hedonistic tendencies be creeping into my heart?

Walk carefully and closely with the Lord today.

Warmly in Christ,

Peter Ramsay

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