Poor Leadership is Often the Problem
Bob is fed up with Myrtle. He says: “She never listens to me even though I’m in charge. She has no respect! I tell her what she needs to do but she just goes out and does her own thing. She ignores my advice. And now, she’s trying to make herself scarce when I’m around. I’m going to give her a piece of my mind!”
It’s a case study. Josh, Janelle and Adam are discussing what may be wrong in the above relationship. Here’s what they have to say:
Josh: “It sounds like Bob is in a position of authority but Myrtle has no respect for him. He’s into the heavy handed ‘chain of command’ behaviour. He thinks when he says: “Jump!” the people should say: “How high?”
Janelle: “But there may be another side to the equation. Perhaps in the past Bob did try a different approach. Maybe he tried listening and talking things over with Myrtle but she was too stubborn to listen. Some people are just like that. You can try mentoring, coaching, counseling and soft-pedaling things but at the end of the day – nothing changes.”
Josh: “I know that, but I think Bob’s words betray him. He’s a frustrated controller. He thinks people should listen to him. He gives unsolicited advice. When people want to talk to him, he talks to them instead. He knows nothing about listening and reflecting. He always has the quick-fix answer on the tip of his tongue. I think if Bob had earned the respect of Myrtle and had established a rapport with her she would have responded differently.”
Janelle: “Adam, you have your degree in psychology, help us out.”
Adam: “Well, I wasn’t thinking about it professionally. I was actually thinking about what Jesus the Good Shepherd said in John 10 about shepherding the sheep.
“The sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name
and leads them out….
My sheep hear My voice and I know them and they follow Me.”
John 10:3, 27
Josh: “Interesting. Elaborate.”
Adam: “The sheep know the voice of the real Shepherd. They’ve heard it many times. He is so attached to each sheep in his flock he has a name for each one. All he has to do is call out their names – they recognize the voice of one who feeds them and cares for them. They come running. Bob doesn’t really sound like the greatest of shepherds – maybe a military commander but the gentle and caring touches of a shepherd seem to be lacking. There’s supposed to be a bond between a shepherd and his sheep.”
Janelle: “That’s very insightful. Now that you mention it, didn’t Jesus also say that “the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Bob doesn’t seem like he’d be willing to put his life on the line for Myrtle. He’d rather put his foot on her neck until she surrendered.”
Adam: “It all comes down to a ‘relationship’. Quality relationships are built on respect but respect must be earned. Respect leads to the Relationship which leads to the Response. No respect? Lousy relationship! Crumby relationship? Shabby response. Let’s face it: when we understood Christ loved us to death, we immediately respected Him as our Saviour and the moment we were overwhelmed by His love, we entered into the relationship with Him and because we have that relationship we WANT TO respond to Him positively and surrender to His desires.”
Josh: “Leave it to you Adam. You always point us to Christ as the supreme example, even when it comes to shepherding people – whether it’s in the workplace or in an assembly of believers.”