"How she brightened the home on Musgrave Blvd. She was the peacemaker in inter-sibling rivalries. The creative person on rainy days. The unbiased perspective when conflict arose. The winner of the Miss Congeniality Award. The loudest applause at her graduation. A loved volunteer at the Women's Shelter and the local food bank. She pushed the markers higher for those of us remaining. Her race has been won."
These are typical words for a eulogy, whether it’s a Miriam, Myrtle, Maggie or Muriel. Glowing and positive. But more often than not, some life details are omitted. Her three fines for driving “without due care and attention.” The day she verbally abused the cashier. The time she backed into a parked car but failed to report it. The two years, she wouldn’t speak to her family after her mother died.
The Bible doesn’t tell us much about Miriam’s funeral. Maybe it was a State funeral with pomp and circumstance. Perhaps it was a private event. One thing was certain — she lived her life, and then it was over.
Then came the children of Israel, even the whole congregation, into the desert of Zin in the first month: and the people abode in Kadesh; and Miriam died there, and was buried there. Numbers 20:1
Miriam was the astute older sister who stood at the banks of the River and watched over the little basket. She was the one who suggested to the Egyptian Princess she could find a caregiver for the infant. That wise and divinely appointed intervention spared baby Moses’ life from Pharaoh’s Nile Infanticide. Miriam was the one who led the choral/percussion ensemble in praising the Lord after crossing the Red Sea. She was a prophetess and a high-profile person in the Exodus of the Children of Israel.
But there was a not-so-nice season in Miriam’s life when she harboured bitter thoughts toward the very brother she saved from the Nile. It’s one thing to heroically shine by helping someone in a crisis, but it requires a different set of inner strengths to happily support the very same person as you watch them get on their feet and far surpass you in influence and power. Moses was no longer the vulnerable baby in the Nile. He was God’s mighty leader of millions.
Miriam probably thought: “If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t even be around to do this work. Everybody thinks he’s so great. Where do I fit into this picture? Who does he think he is to grab all the power? He loves every minute of it. He loves the limelight. My brother Aaron and I do all the work leading this pack of people, but Moses takes all the credit. We’re the brains behind it all. And besides, that woman he married! He was in the wrong in marrying her. I think Aaron and I should go public against his choice of a wife.”
And they did go public. On the surface, the issue was the wife. But less than a centimetre below, jealousy was boiling. The real problem is rarely what it appears to be on the surface.
And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman. And they said, Has the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? Has he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard it. Numbers 12:1-2
The Lord smote Miriam with leprosy. It was a very dark period in Miriam’s life. We can only wonder if that dark season and blot on her record was omitted in her funeral eulogy. But the fact remains: it was definitely a part of her life history, and she could not relive or erase that segment of her testimony. She couldn’t undo what she had done. She couldn’t erase it from the memory of the people or expunge it from the record of Scripture.
Despite all the glowing words spoken at a funeral, the reality is — the character of a person’s life is determined by the daily choices they make and the ‘accumulated’ behaviour and attitude they exhibit in the bad times as well as good times. So often, our reactions reveal more about our character than our actions.
Today is important. Our lives will end sooner than we expect. May the Lord help us walk closely with Himself and live before fellow believers and the world around us so that people will not have to suppress bad memories at our funeral.
Don’t hesitate to share a thought from your personal experience or a verse that has been a blessing to you – in the comment section below. Or, if you would like to reach out privately, click below.
