How did some couples ever get together? They seem to have nothing in common. One has all the looks, while their partner is undeniably ugly. But I suppose one cannot judge by the externals. One is pleasant, wise and caring, but the other is bold, rude and boastful. One is godly with spiritual desires, but their life-long partner seems to be a spiritual dud. One is bright; the other is dull. She is industrious and diligent, but her husband is a classic slacker – a lazy procrastinator. Someone referred to him as a couch potato. Sounds like an unkind remark to me. One has serious desires to do something for God with his life, but she is as shallow as they come. The examples are endless.
Abigail, in 1 Samuel 25, was a very ‘with it’ lady. She was a woman of spiritual insight, and she honoured God in her life. Well-spoken and wise. She recognized that David was the king-elect and that he would eventually reign on the throne of Israel. Her husband, Nabal, on the other hand, was a dud. Spiritually bankrupt, rude and ruthless, short-sighted and uncaring. When Nabal treated David and his men badly, she apologized for her husband’s behaviour. She encouraged David to leave matters with the Lord.
Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so candid and forthright about her husband’s shortcomings, but when it comes to the things of the Lord, one has to take sides. So she said to David in 1 Samuel 25:25: “Don’t pay any attention to that good-for-nothing Nabal. His name means “fool,” and it fits him well!” No, Abigail didn’t bail out of her marriage. But she chose to honour the Lord in her sad marriage despite her husband’s pathetic spiritual state. Shortly afterwards, Nabal had a stroke and died ten days later.
From the Lord’s perspective, marriage is a life-long commitment. It’s not a bond that you can sever seven months or seven years after the knot is tied if things turn sour. God intends that marriage is until death separates the two or the coming of the Lord intervenes.
Jesus said: ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:5-6 Also: (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31)
As much as someone may crave to have a life-long partner – far better to remain single IN the will of God than to marry someone OUT OF the will of God.
If you are praying about a partner for life, there are two foundational requirements for you as a Christian:
1. It is NEVER right to date and marry someone who is not a believer! 2 Corinthians 6:14. Flirt-to-convert approaches, or missionary dating are not only dangerous, they are wrong.
2. It is not enough to ensure you marry a believer – you must share the same spiritual desires when it comes to honouring and submitting to the Lord in your life. 1Corinthians 7:39
But you say: “We’re already dating, and the diamond surprise could be any day now.” Or, maybe your relationship is even more advanced. Plane tickets have been purchased, and the shower gifts are piling up. Is it too late to pull the plug? If you have a deep, inner sick feeling about your future (more than the common nervous jitters) – call it off, regardless of the embarrassment and the shock waves it will cause within your family and circle of friends.
If you have a persistent dark cloud hanging over your head or a gut feeling that you shouldn’t go ahead with it – DON’T! It is never too late to call off an upcoming marriage – even if you are down to the wire with only hours or minutes remaining. Once you are pronounced husband and wife, it’s too late. The embarrassment of calling it off will eventually fade in the weeks or the months ahead, but if you proceed, remember – a mismatched marriage is for life.
You may want to download from our website two imperfect documents for your consideration. 1) Marriage – Flashing Warning Lights and 2) Marriage – Important Bases to Cover If you have any difficulty accessing either of these documents, please contact us to have them emailed to you.
If moving forward with your relationship is of the Lord – then husband and wife is the most beautiful of all human relationships.
Don’t hesitate to share a thought from your personal experience or a verse that has been a blessing to you – in the comment section below. Or, if you would like to reach out privately, click below.
