As a word, ‘nepotism’ has a negative connotation and, in practice, invites problems and negative reactions. Consider a slightly exaggerated monologue:
"I know you may say I'm biased, but truthfully, I know no one as capable and competent as my son. I see so much potential in him. Why can't others see that it makes eminent sense to make him the Sunday School Superintendant and the Treasurer and the Greeter and the Song Leader and our Weekly Bulletin Editor and the Speaker Selector and the Purchasing Agent, and the Cafeteria Manager and the Thermostat Administrator! And, yes - someday, looking into my crystal ball, on my knees before God (of course!) I can see him being the lead elder here - if such a thing exists. Having said that, I find it really quite sickening when some parents think their son or their daughter is the 'cat's meow,' and they're always trying to promote their own family members. It's just so blatantly obvious. But as for our boy, I think all would agree that it's not nepotism or favouritism on my part - he's plainly got the goods. We can't hold him back just because he's my son. That would be tantamount to reverse discrimination."
Call it what you will, papa – but it reeks of nepotism to others! Let the Lord, through other means, promote those within our family circles.
King David wanted to build a very great temple for the Lord. If he could live in a palace as a king, how much more should the King, above all other kings, deserve a magnificent earthly dwelling place! That was the reasoning of David’s heart. But it was not to be. David would not be the builder. Through the prophet Nathan, God told David that his son Solomon would be the builder.
When your days are fulfilled. I will set up one of your descendants after you, who will be of your sons; and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build for Me a house, and I will establish his throne forever. I will be his father and he shall be My son, and I will not take My lovingkindness away from him. I will settle him.” 1Chronicles 17:11-14
It was God who had a plan for David’s son Solomon. It was the Lord who intervened to stop David from building a temple for the Lord. God had His Own plan for the future, and God would promote Solomon. It wasn’t Father David’s responsibility. David didn’t have to navigate behind the scenes or manipulate things in any way for his son to get the honour of building the temple. God intervened directly and used others, like the Prophet Nathan, to break the news to David.
Wisely, David then gave good counsel to his son. That’s a very appropriate role for parents. David said to Solomon:
Only, may the LORD grant you discretion and understanding, that when He [the Lord] gives you charge over Israel you may keep the law of the LORD your God. Then you will prosper if you are careful to observe the statutes and the rules that the LORD commanded Moses for Israel. Be strong and courageous. Fear not; do not be dismayed. 1Chronicles 22:12-13
We are susceptible to blind spots when it comes to the advancement of our children or close relatives. Old Eli put his sons ahead of the Lord. Notice: 1 Samuel 2:29. And then there was godly Samuel. Unwisely, in his succession planning for future judges, he could see no better candidates than his own two sons. Notice: 1 Samuel 8:3.
For parents and relatives reading this, may the Lord give us the sensitivity and wisdom to robustly judge our strong natural instincts to ‘prefer’ our own when it comes to the assignment of public responsibilities. May we be sensitive to how others outside our family may perceive such an assignment.
For sons and daughters – if you sense your ‘own’ are primarily the ones promoting/championing your ‘promotion,’ respectfully ask them to stop and allow the Lord to work in your life and lead you in His paths according to His timing. Such a godly approach will minimize the risk of division, criticism and a negative undercurrent.
Nepotism or favouritism usually results in unhealthy whispering among others and also the suppression of important feedback necessary for the spiritual good of all.
If you are not a parent yet, you may be someday. Be on guard. Favouritism is an age-old problem. It comes naturally and carnally to all of us, along with a great deal of blindness.
Check this out: Sycamore Gap Tree Crime – Spiritual Reflections
God has His own ways of equipping saints and assigning responsibilities.
For more on this subject, consider these verses: Acts 10:34, Romans 2:11, James 2:9
Don’t hesitate to share a thought from your personal experience or a verse that has been a blessing to you – in the comment section below. Or, if you would like to reach out privately, click below.
