"Manoah, dear, this is an awesome day! I just found out we're going to have a baby. And I can be more specific—without even an ultrasound, I know it's going to be a boy! A man of God met me today and gave me the news. What an angel he was! But guess what? I never even asked his name or where he lived, so we could keep in touch. He just told me: a boy-for-God is on the way!"
Maybe you’re reading this and expecting a child—or perhaps that exciting news is now a memory. Weighing on your heart just now is: Where’s the manual to raise this child? Where’s the troubleshooting guide to help me get it right?
Manoah and his wife faced the same question in Judges 13. When his wife broke the news to him, Manoah immediately realized: if God is entrusting us with a child, this is a sacred responsibility —one that we must take very seriously.
In today’s parlance, Manoah may have felt the urgency to access an online child-rearing instruction manual or look for a podcast series on the subject. He didn’t brush off the news or treat it lightly. He prayed:
“O Lord, please let the man of God whom You sent come again to us and teach us what we are to do with the child who will be born.” Judges 13:8
Eugene Peterson paraphrased the next segment of the fast-moving story like this:
God listened to Manoah. God’s angel came again to the woman. She was sitting in the field; her husband Manoah wasn’t there with her. She jumped to her feet and ran and told her husband: “He’s back! The man who came to me that day!” Manoah got up and, following his wife, came to the man. He said to him, “Are you the man who spoke to my wife?” He said, “I am.” Manoah said, “So. When what you say comes true, what do you have to tell us about this boy and his work?” Judges 13:9-12 MSG
God answered, and Samson was born. And yes—he wasn’t the perfect child. No child is. He made selfish choices, and many tears were probably shed in the privacy of their little home.
But here’s the question: were they, as parents, in the clear? Had they done everything they could to raise their child for God? In those critical years between the crib and courting days, had they prayerfully and cautiously raised their son in the fear of the Lord? Did they carefully manage the years he lived under their roof, in view of the mission God had in mind for Samson as he became an adult?
Did they raise him as a Nazarite child and take all the necessary precautions? Did they shield him from things that had the potential to be a snare for him later in life? Did they introduce him to anything or anyone that had the potential to later derail him in his intended life of devotion to God?
You might be tempted to say: “But it’s not fair to make choices for my child based on those criteria. My child isn’t saved yet.”
God’s will for Samson was that he would be a Nazarite all the days of his life. God’s will for your child is salvation and a life that will honour the Lord. God’s desire for everyone is salvation. (1Timothy 2:4) If that’s God’s will for our children, then from their crib days to their courting days, we should raise them as if they are going to be saved and as if they are going to live their lives pleasing to the Lord in all ways.
The best child-raising manual is the Bible. It is not only for parents to read, but also a manual for them to read and discuss with their children.
Many parents pray long and hard about school choices for their children — public or private schooling, Christian schools, homeschooling, etc. But, by far, the most critical school our child will ever attend is the one in our family room and kitchen.
- How do we act and talk in our homes?
- What are they learning about Bible truth from our in-house efforts?
- Do we show patience, humility, love and a reliance on God?
- Do they get a clear sense of what’s right and wrong and a sensitivity to sin?
- Do they know that we love our neighbours and others in the community?
- Are they learning how to talk about hot-button issues sensitively and wisely?
- Do they see in our lives that God and the things of God are the #1 priority for our family?
Rather than focusing on school systems to teach our children the Ten Commandments, Christian values, Bible truth, and God as #1 in importance, it is our primary responsibility as parents.
Apart from the Lord Jesus, no child yet has turned out perfect. But as parents, our responsibility is to raise our children as if they are going to be saved and live fully for the Lord all the days of their lives. Only then can we commit our children to the Lord for His gracious dealings with them and fall asleep, often with tears, but with a clear conscience knowing we did what we could to keep the Lord before them.
No parent got it right all the time. We reflect on our failures, shortcomings, and the things we would do differently if we were starting over. But God knows and God cares and God still works despite our inadequacies and failures, and His will for our children never changes – He desires them to be saved. Keep praying for them and keep trusting God.
…God our Saviour, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. (1Timothy 2:4 ESV)
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9 NASB)
The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect. (James 5:16 CSB)