Annual Marriage Reminders (2 of 2)
As promised, this is the follow-up document to the 25 Flashing Lights email sent out on Tuesday, June 01, 2010. For those who did not get a chance to read the introduction to the Flashing Lights document the message is repeated below:
In some parts of the world, summer is the season for weddings. Many Christian weddings are planned for this summer. Some are discussing next summer as a possibility. Others are opting for a non-summer wedding. And in many cases, marriage is not yet on the horizon.
This message is really for those who are contemplating entering into the for-life union of marriage. Those not there yet should consider it seriously and tuck it away for the future. Others who are reading this and you’re thinking ‘been there; done that’ – well, you can read it, endorse it and pass it along.
This ‘Important Bases to Cover BEFORE Marriage’ document is rather intense. Beyond the beautiful romance of it all, have you really thought these things through? How well do you know the person with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life? These are matters you need to seriously think about and bases you need to cover. If some of them cause you to worry, then more prayer and more time is needed before you ever say: “I Do.”
Marriage is for life.
“A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife
and they shall become one flesh.”
With this type of a document, the formatting below may change from the way it originally appeared before the mailing. If the formatting appears to be faulty or if the remainder of this document appears to be askew, simply email firstname.lastname@example.org for a printable WORD version. In the subject line simply type: Annual Marriage Reminders. Nothing needs to be said in the body of the email.
Walk carefully and closely with the Lord today.
Warmly in Christ
Important Bases to Cover BEFORE Marriage.
Each of you should spend some time considering your response to each point below. Save the Word document and then just type your response by continuing each sentence until the statement is complete and informative. Your individual responses need to be shared with each other and with the person who will be responsible for marrying you.
Faith – spiritual foundation and focus
- My personal relationship with Jesus Christ is based on….
- My desire as a Christian is…….
- In our marriage I would like to ensure that we……..
- When it comes to my responsibility to the Lord and to the local assembly, my priority will be….
- As a couple, my role in ensuring we prosper spiritually will be….
- I worry that……..
Fundamentals – husband and wife roles
- I understand from the Word of God that the husband’s role in a marriage is….
- I understand from the Word of God that the wife’s role in a marriage is…..
- Society’s values and perspectives on the role of a husband and wife often conflicts with the Biblical perspective in these ways….
- Home chores and domestic work should be…..
- When it comes to work and careers and my spouse’s role versus mine, I think…..
First Things in life – agreement on priorities
Three things that are very important to me are:
- My policy on spending is……
- My views on bills and debts are…….
- I believe in order to manage our finances successfully and to have minimum stress over money we must…….
Family – children and approach to child-rearing
- When it comes to having children, I feel….
- If we can’t have children, I hope we will …..
- When it comes to giving our children structure, direction and discipline, I feel that we should……..
- One of the priorities for our future family will be……..
Faithfulness in purity, sanctity, sex
- According to the Word of God, I believe sexual relations and activity outside of the marriage bond is……
- In the New Testament here are a couple of verses that I have come across in my reading that have spoken to me about keeping myself sexually clean……
Feelings – sensitivity
- I am particularly sensitive and hurt easily when someone…….
- One of my weaknesses in communicating is…….
- I think the basics of good communications can be summarized this way…..
- When I’m upset I usually show it by ..
Flexibility – give and take
- The only things I think we can not compromise on are…..
- I usually insist that I am right only when……
Friction and Fights
- So far in our relationship our little disagreements have been mainly over…..
- I think the little irritants we will have to work through after we are married will probably be over ..
- The major ‘Yes’ answers in the 25 Flashing Lights document that could potentially cause friction in the future are……..
- I think that when there has been a disagreement in our relationship we should……
- My own role in resolving conflict should be…….
- I think we could avoid a major argument if we…….
- My friends understand that when we get married we will need to…..
- The only potential conflict over our friends that I can see is…..
- My family background is different from my partner’s in this way….
- After we get married, I hope that my parents and my in-laws will respect our……
- One thing about our in-laws that could become a problem for us is…..
- I hope we will be able to spend Christmas or other holidays with …
- One potential problem I might have with my future in-laws could be…
Fun – leisure
- We share the same ideas of fun, pleasure, recreation with the exception of…..
- If my spouse does not enjoy doing the same things in our spare time, then I will…
- For animals and pets I hope…
Forever – until death separates or the Lord comes.
- I understand that marriage is……
- I think the reasons why many marriages break up or fall apart are primarily……
Some helpful readings:
Genesis 2:24, Deuteronomy 24:5; Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 5:15-6:4; Colossians 3:21;
1Timothy 1:9-10, 3:11, 5:8; 1Peter 3:1-7;
1Corinthians 6:15-20, 7:3-5; 1Thessalonians 4:1-8; Hebrews 13:4
Remember: If you have a very uneasy feeling about committing to marriage as you complete this list, you have the right, as well as the responsibility to put on the brakes until your fears are addressed. It is not too late to suspend things – even if it is the day before. It may cause embarrassment and many tears but with the passing of time, your life will return to normal. After the vows are exchanged, it’s too late.