It sounds like a bizarre question, but it’s a very real one. Tragically, people live their lives harbouring long-term resentment towards God.
We can be angry at God for failing to meet our expectations, mad at God for allowing something to happen, or disappointed with God for His failure to answer specific prayers. We can blame God for the dark memories of life or be profoundly grieved at Him for not intervening to avert an awful tragedy that has come into our lives.
Such emotions have been experienced through the ages and are captured in many Psalms. Because He is our eternal Refuge and Strength, sharing our full range of emotions with the Lord is totally safe.
Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out (dump out) your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah. Psalm 62:8
All our emotions must be processed without reserve in the Lord’s Presence. If we fail in this activity, a deep-seated bitterness will drag us down. Some have an outward smile pasted on their face and say some wonderful “triumphalist” things about God, but inside, there is a clenched fist tucked away in the back room of their heart. It’s a miserable way to live even one day of our lives, not to mention the possibility of going to the grave that way.
Had a reporter interviewed Moses at the end of his life, the dialogue might have gone something like this:
Reporter: “Moses, will you take some questions about your life? You encountered major disappointments and hit some very rough spots on the road. You were blindsided by unanticipated events. Life threw some nasty curves at you. Have you ever forgiven God for some of those things?”
Moses: “I beg your pardon? ‘Me’ forgive God? The wonder of my soul is that God would forgive me. I’ll never know why He ever noticed me in Pharaoh’s palace and chose to use me. I am so unworthy. I’ve had many failures and am sure I’ve disappointed my God many, many times.”
Reporter: “But didn’t God promise you great things if you would follow Him? Didn’t He promise you deliverance and the privilege of leading His people from bondage into the Promised Land? But what a bunch of whiners, complainers, grumblers and rebels they were! How many whisper campaigns did they launch against you during those years in the wilderness? Aren’t you even a little bitter against God for giving you such an unruly and difficult pack of people to lead? If it hadn’t been for their unbelief, you could have been in the Promised Land years ago. They’ve been such an obstacle. You’ve suffered personally because of their collective failures. That must be a bitter pill to swallow.”
“To add insult to injury, God then blocked you from setting your feet inside the Promised Land. That must have come as the biggest blow of your lifetime. You were looking forward to the new land and did your best to keep the people focused on the new land and its opportunities. And then, because you lost your cool one day and smote that rock (Numbers 20:9-12), God punished you by literally cancelling your physical entrance into the Promised Land. After all, who wouldn’t have lost their temper and slammed the rock with all those people being so incredibly annoying! You probably felt like doing more than smiting a rock!”
“But today is your 120th birthday – do you have any reflections to share? Have you forgiven God?”
Moses:
And Moses said to them: “I am 120 years old today. I am no longer able to go out and come in. The LORD has said to me, ‘You shall not go over this Jordan.’ Be strong and courageous… It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” “Give ear, O heavens, and I will speak, and let the earth hear the words of my mouth. May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, like gentle rain upon the tender grass, and like showers upon the herb. For I will proclaim the name of the LORD; ascribe greatness to our God! “The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he. Deuteronomy 31:2,6,8; 32:1-4
What an amazing speech to make at the end of one’s life! Moses fully surrendered to God and acknowledged Him as the One who is always right and never wrong, always ‘just’ and never unfair, always true and never failing to see the big picture, always good—never bad, greatness, not smallness, reliable and consistent, always purposeful and perfect—the Rock.
May we surrender to Him today. If bitterness is in our hearts, bow before Him in confession and thank Him for not only noticing us but also saving and keeping us. If the tears are still flowing and the heart is still broken, invite Him to draw even nearer to you in your grief. Ask Him to give you strength in your sorrow or pain and make His nearness very real to you today.
Can you forgive Him? Can you trust Him today – wholly and implicitly?
Don’t hesitate to share a thought from your personal experience or a verse that has been a blessing to you – in the comment section below. Or, if you would like to reach out privately, click below.
Moses learned the world’s wisdom from men and God’s wisdom from sheep as a “one-of-a-kind” learner. Though he was weak in self-esteem, he was strong in self-control and was known as a man of meekness—one of a kind. He believed in the impossible – carried out the improbable as one of a kind who led with authority and prayed with importunity because he was one of a kind in his faith. He mediated with consideration and served with compassion as a “one-of-a-kind” person who cared for others.
Excellent. Thanks for sharing!