“It’s absolutely false. It’s a figment of your imagination. How many times do I have to tell you! You’re dreaming. If you think I am trying to make a name for myself, you are dead wrong. You are judging me!” Euodia said.

“I’m not judging you,” Syntyche responded. “It’s obvious. Every time there is something to be done, you grab the opportunity before the rest of us get a chance. You just want all the pats on the back!”

Irritated, Euodia raised her voice a few decibels: “Give your head a shake woman! You’re losing it. They asked me if I would visit the young widow and pray with her because no one else had volunteered. They checked with several of the women and everybody had something else to do. I mentioned YOUR name – yeah, ‘I’ did!! Big, old, bad me! And now you’re accusing ‘me’ of hogging the lime-light! They said they couldn’t get a hold of you; so I agreed to visit her. Why don’t you answer the door when people are looking for you? What are you doing in there anyway? Got something to hide??!!”

Before you know it, Euodia’s boyfriend decides he is not going to help Syntyche’s husband with street evangelism. It escalates and snowballs. Others get involved and it’s not long until there are two camps: those who favor Euodia and those who support Syntyche. It’s called tragic division.

Everything about the tense exchange above is fiction with the exception of the friction. The friction wasn’t fiction and the women were for real too! Paul wrote to the local church in Philippi and he said:

With all the important doctrines the Apostle Paul had to pass on to the churches, why would he take the time to mention a little conflict between two Christian women? Didn’t he have bigger things to worry about? Here’s why: little conflicts are very big matters. Paul recommends a third party to mediate and resolve the dispute – a respected Christian both women would trust. If the matter between Euodia and Syntyche wasn’t settled, neither of them could happily contribute to the work of the Lord in the future. Their Christian lives would be damaged and derailed. Those who took sides in the dispute would be tainted by the bitterness of it all and their spiritual condition would go down the tubes. And quicker then we would like to think, the local church would be split apart. A tragedy! So the smallest spat can escalate into a full blown war and tear a once-happy group of believers apart.

In Philippians 2 Paul encourages the Christians to be of the same mind, to love one another and to be of one accord, doing nothing through rivalry or conceit. He instructs them to count others more significant than themselves. Then he takes them to the beautiful example of the Lord Jesus who humbled Himself and became obedient unto death. (Read Philippians 2:1-11 for a fresh appreciation of Christ today!)

If you have had a sharp exchange with another believer and there is tension between the two of you, learn from the humility of the Lord Jesus. Even if you didn’t ‘start’ the spat – do your part to ‘stop’ it. Don’t waste another day of your Christian life harboring bitter thoughts. Take the low place; pray – think about Christ and ask for wisdom; apologize; and give them a hug or whatever is appropriate. Nip it in the bud because tension always escalates until there is an intervention.