“Some things never change. Even the way he tilts his head and how he swaggers when he walks bugs me. When he sits down he gawks around as if to say: ‘I’ve arrived. Does everyone see me?’ Well, to put it mildly, he just gets under my skin. And besides, that turkey has never even apologized to me yet for saying that about my mother. He didn’t just call her a gossiper; he called her a busybody – sticking her nose into everyone else’s business. I feel like pounding him.”Perhaps you can’t relate to such intense feelings over some hurt you have sustained. All honest Christians will confess to having harbored nasty thoughts at some point in their life against someone. Am I ever justified in feeling that way?
Read the list of things in Colossians Chapter 3 which we are to abandon:
“.Sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness.
anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk.
Do not lie to one another.”
Now look at the list of positive things that should be on display in my life as a believer:
“. compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
bearing with one another and,
if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other;
as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
(Colossians 3:5-13)
As a Christian I am to put up with, graciously endure and cope with others who may have a personality that naturally annoys me and idiosyncrasies that aggravate me. The Lord puts up with our manners, our insensitivities, our attitude, our lack of discipline and our procrastination in spiritual things. He puts up with us and loves us just the same. We are to show the same patient endurance with other people. Forbearance or ‘bearing with one another’ is our Christian duty.
Patient endurance is one thing; forgiving is another. If someone has hurt me or wronged me or someone I love and they refuse to apologize, what is my attitude supposed to be towards that person? I am to get on my knees and forgive that person before the Lord and leave it there. PERIOD. Then, I will not be consumed with hatred or bitterness the next time I see him. I will be able to shake his hand, give him a smile, pick up his handkerchief if it drops on the floor, hold the door open for him or even let him go ahead of me in the lineup at the checkout.
You ask: “Even if he never said ‘sorry’ to you?” Yes, even if the person in the wrong has not apologized, I am to forgive them before the Lord. That doesn’t mean I am reconciled with the person. It means I have forgiven them; reconciliation in the relationship will only result when the other person recognizes their wrong. But my own personal responsibility is to forgive regardless.
On the Cross Jesus said to His Father: “Father, forgive them….” Did the soldiers ever say they were sorry? No. But The Lord Jesus did His part. Now it was up to the individuals how they wanted to respond to Christ’s forgiving attitude.
Don’t ruin another day of your life by failing to forgive that person. A Christian who has an unforgiving spirit becomes stunted in their spiritual growth and often is wrecked by bitterness. You become more wrong before the Lord in your own spirit than the other person’s wrong that originally caused the offence. Do your part before the Lord so your attitude is right. It is our Christian duty. It is like Christ.
Walk carefully and closely with the Lord today.
Warmly in Christ
Peter Ramsay