Adillah Tells Her Story

Psalm 118:24 “This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” You have just read one of my favorite verses in the Bible. I have claimed it everyday since the first day I KNEW the Lord, the God of my life. Psalm 73:25 “Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.”

Thank You Mom and Dad
I was born in Malaysia to a Malay family. The youngest of five, my parents brought me up to the best of their ability, teaching me Islamic teachings right from early age, and proper ways to live as a Muslim. Every day I am thankful to the Lord for my parents, especially my mother who with love and endurance cared for me, taught me and provided all my needs. They did a wonderful job raising me, and instilled in me the knowledge of God, and that there is a God to whom I am accountable for all my actions and decisions.

I Kept Trying to Do Good

Growing up, I tried to fulfill all my obligations as a Muslim. I was taught that I am responsible to God to do as He says and not to depart from all the rules and teachings of Islam. To disobey one of God’s rules, would be a sin and a point against me. It was a merit system. So I tried to do good. I prayed five times a day; I read the Qur’an, fasted and so on. Yet deep in my heart I knew there was nothing I could do to achieve that high standard of holiness.
Even Little Sins Offend God
All Muslims will agree with me that God IS holy. There is not a single sin in Him and He does NOT delight in sin. So my question to you my friend is: how then can you cleanse yourself from your sins to meet this holy God? God is not only offended by big sins. As Muslims we were taught that even ‘little’ sins like gossiping, telling a white lie, not reading the Qur’an properly, or even thinking bad thoughts is all very offensive to God.
How Can I Be Sure I Am Clean Before God?

What can we do then to be clean? You might say just try your best. But God IS holy and we people are dirty with sin. So what then? This question was always on my mind and my heart even when on the outside I appeared to look like any other Muslim with my head covering and my daily rituals.

Leaving Malaysia to Study
When I was 18, I left Malaysia to study abroad. Though I was away from home and away from my family and away from my society, I still fulfilled my responsibilities as a Muslim. I knew God was still watching no matter where I was. I was proud to be a Muslim and I didn’t dare to leave all the teachings and prayers that were engrained in me since my early age.

 

Still Worried About My Sins

However, the conviction of my sins was getting heavier upon my heart. I realized that if I was to die, I would have to meet God myself. I would have to answer to Him myself. There was nothing my family and my country could do for me to help me face God.

What would I do with my bags of sins when I met Him? What if my best was not good enough? And why did it say in Surah Al Fatihah that I must say at least 5 times a day: ‘Lead me to the straight path?’ If Islam was not the right path, what was the right path? I had seen Buddhism and Hinduism. They were religions of idol worshippers.

Searching For the Truth
But what about Christianity? Are they idol worshippers too? What is in the Bible? Why does the Qur’an say to love the people of ‘the book’- they are the Christians? There was some thing in me that needed to find the answers. But at the same time I quickly brushed it away as I was very afraid of being an apostate who would be definitely thrown to hell.

However, a friend of mine, who is a Christian (a follower of Christ), told me that Christians do not worship idols or use objects in their worship. Roman Catholics may but Christians don’t. My friend gave me a Bible to read and I started reading in the New Testament.

Scared To Read the Holy Bible
Being a Muslim, I was scared to read the Bible. I had been taught and warned clearly to stay away from reading it. However my friend challenged me saying: “If Islam is really true why would I be so afraid of reading the Bible?” I agreed. My mom had always taught me that the truth will always be revealed, so I myself should always tell the truth.

I started to read the Bible with a heart that was seeking for the truth. So my Muslim friend, I ask you the same question: “If Islam is the truth, why then are you afraid of reading the Bible?” The Holy Bible says: “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32) Yes my friend the truth will set you free.

I found the answers to my questions in the Bible. Why was I sinning continuously even when I tried hard not to? The Bible told me it was because I was born a sinner. “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”(Romans 3:23). Adam and Eve brought sin into the human family.

Why Do Babies Throw Tantrums?
Just observe a little baby: right from the early years of life the young child is able to rebel by throwing a tantrum and by just being bad or disobedient. No mother has to teach her child to disobey. It is just in the baby’s nature. It wasn’t taught to the child; it came naturally. The Bible told me that “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.”(Jeremiah 17:9).

Truly our real problems are not on our external appearance or outward behaviour. Yes, we can pray five times a day; we can fast as much as we can and go in and out of mosques; we can try to live righteously; we can go to Mecca, and return home ‘feeling’ holy. BUT the problem is still there. It lies deep within our heart. By nature, we are desperately wicked. When I read the Bible I understood that God doesn’t look on my outward appearance but on my inside. “But the Lord looketh upon the heart.” (1Samuel 16:7)

Feeling Clean and Pure Is Not Good Enough
So, my Muslim friends stop right now and ask yourself: ‘is my heart clean and pure?’ It didn’t matter whether I fasted in Ramadan or whether I prayed today or read the Qur’an or whether I gave alms. The real question was: ‘Is my heart clean?’ Had I been cleansed from my sins’ such as the sin of pride, of anger, of hatred, of jealousy, of deceit, and a corrupt mind? Just like I had to as a Muslim – you too have to answer these questions. Because the Lord knows your heart. The reality was – my heart needed to be cleaned.

I had to face the fact that I was a sinner. Have you ever faced that reality? The Holy Bible says: “The wages of sin is death.” (Romans 6:23)

How a Muslim Can Be Saved

Knowing this, how could I be cleansed from my sin and be free from the punishment of sin? Here is what I found in the Holy Bible: The reason Jesus died on the cross was that He died for me. Instead of me, being punished, He took the punishment of my sins. When He had completed paying for my sins He cried from the Cross:

“It is finished!” (John 19:30).
My debt of sin was paid in full. The work for my salvation was done. It was completed. It is because of this that today I am a Christian.

We can not clean the sin from our heart. Our good works such as our prayers or our fastings can not wash away our sins. Our problem is not so much what we do, but what we are.

God Loves Adillah!
I think you will agree that God made us and He knows us and He also knows our hearts. He also knows that we can not cleanse ourselves from our sins. So did God care that I, Adillah was a sinner and that I could not clean my own heart?

Here is the beautiful ‘truth’ I discovered when I read the Holy Bible:

For God so loved the world, (He loved me),
that He gave His only Son
that whosoever (anyone including me)
believes in Him should not perish
but have the everlasting life.
John 3:16 Holy Bible
Everlasting life! Not death! He gives life. He was the only One who could cleanse me from my sins. That’s why Jesus came down to earth; He came to die – so He needed a body to die in. He had no sin of His own because He was God. He could not sin but He became a man in human flesh and was perfect in every way – unlike ourselves.

How Could Jesus Be Without Sin If He Became a Man?
How could this be? Because He was not conceived like other human beings. No sinful man was involved. The Holy Bible says He was conceived by the Holy Spirit. Mary was just a vessel God used bring the Son of God into this world. She had no supernatural power back then nor does she have any today. She is distinguished only by the fact that God used her to bring Jesus into the world.

God Is Not Like I Thought He Was
I found out that the God of The Holy Bible is NOT a distant, far off God who is unnecessarily cruel or unpredictable in His decisions. I always knew that He was a Holy and Just God, but I found out that He is a God of love and tenderness and mercy.

When our first parents Adam and Eve sinned against God and brought sin into the human family, God’s responded by sending Jesus into the world to be the Saviour for every sinner. He loved all and excluded no one. He gave His Son to die for our sins. He did that work 2000 years ago and it is the only ‘work’ that God recognizes to take our sins away.

How Did I Become a Christian?
Are you wondering exactly how I, a Muslim became a Christian? I simply agreed with God that I was a lost sinner and I needed to be rescued and I trusted in Christ’s completed work upon the Cross. I believed what the Holy Bible said: He loved me and He died for me. That was the truth I discovered in the Bible.

When I trusted in Christ’s work upon the Cross, God forgave me of all my sins and because of God’s grace, (I don’t deserve this) I am free! He has removed my sins as far as the east is from the west – they are gone forever from God’s Holy eyes. Jesus took them away by His death.

I decided, not by force and not by birth, to follow Christ. I accepted His invitation to acknowledge Him as the Lord of my life. He has forgiven me. “The blood of Jesus Christ, His Son cleanses us from all sins.”(1 John 1:7).

I’m Not Merely Hoping – I Know!
I was once separated from God because of my sins but now I KNOW I have a home in heaven – all because of Christ. I’m not hoping – I know! The Lord Jesus Christ loved me and gave His life for me. The life that I now live, I live by the power of the Son of God. My burden of sin was taken away when I trusted in His finished work at the cross. I am a sinner saved by grace.

Do you want this assurance my dear Muslim friend? I know whom I have believed. Do you KNOW who and what you believe? “..Seek the Lord thy God and you shall find Him, if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” (Deuteronomy 4:29). Be honest with yourself, my friend. You need to be right with God.

The truth doesn’t end here. For those who believe, we know our Savior lives and He IS coming again. Christ is returning. It seems His coming is very near. It is a dark and evil world we live in. There are wars and rumors of wars, tsunamis, earthquakes, terrorism, floods, hurricanes, typhoons and the Bible says the worst is yet to come. This is URGENT matter for everyone – Muslims and non-Muslims alike!

So my last question to you is: are you ready for Christ when He returns? What are you going to do about Jesus Christ so you can be right with God? To be at peace with God, you must accept Christ.

Being a Christian is not a religion. It is having a personal relationship with Christ. But you must make a decision. I’m not talking about whether you feel ‘good’ about your religion or not – I’m referring to a conscious decision you must make about the Lord Jesus Christ. Who is He and did He pay for your sins on the Cross and will you accept Him as your Saviour?

Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him…” “Behold I come quickly.” (Revelation 22:12) “EVERY knee shall bow; and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.” (Philippians 2:11). “Unto you therefore which believe He is precious.”(1 Peter 2:7)

The Lord Jesus Christ LOVES every Muslim. He loves you. With His arm open wide He is waiting for you to come to Him to cast your burdens to Him and He’ll give you rest. It is not a western religion or thinking. It is the Love of God for sinful humans and it was displayed at the cross. I am praying for you.

You can email me at: beritabenar@yahoo.co.uk