I remember times when my Mom and Dad fought. One time he had her pinned down on the coffee table and I really thought that this time, he would kill her.
Another time, my Mom threatened to commit suicide. She locked herself in the bathroom with some pills. I remember my brother and I stayed up half the night calling out her name to make sure that she stayed awake.
I used to wonder: Why do they love this brown bottle so much when it brings so much misery? Why don’t they love me? Is this all my fault?
When I was 16-years-old, a family moved into our town and I started hanging out with them. When I went to their home, I noticed that no-one ever fought or argued. They treated each other with respect and they were always humming to themselves or singing out loud!
It was so strange being with people who didn’t swear or drink. They had no desire to—and yet they seemed so satisfied! They were always good to me and really loved me.
One day, I went with them to Yorkton to watch a movie. At the end of it, Billy Graham appeared on the screen inviting people to come to the front of the theatre to accept Jesus. I wanted what my friends had, so I went forward.
A kind lady showed me the verse: John 3:16. She then put my name into the verse: “For God so loved Becky that He gave His only begotten Son that if Becky believes in Him, Becky will not perish but have everlasting life.” This really spoke to me! I found it amazing that God would love me—I didn’t think I was worth anything.
I prayed the prayer that night but my life didn’t really change that much. I moved to the big city for post-secondary education, but still continued in my sinful ways. But one thing had changed—I knew God loved me.
Even when I came home from a night of drinking, I would always pray the same prayer, asking God to send me another family like the one I had met back in my hometown.
One day, I found a whole bunch of posters at my apartment building. I picked one up. It was John 3:16! I got very excited because I remembered this verse was the same one that lady in the movie theater had shown me.
I immediately phoned the name that was on the back of the poster. That was how I met the Ronald family and ended up going to church with them.
Not too long after that, I remember walking into my living room and thinking about how good my life was going again. But then this thought appeared in my mind: What about all the bad things that I had done? Right way, I fell to my knees and asked God to forgive me for every sin that I could remember. But then I really got worried because I thought—on no!—what about the sins that I can’t remember? At that very moment, I realized that I was a sinner, and I called on the Lord to save me and come into my life. I can remember telling Him to take my life—I didn’t want it any more. I knew that Jesus died for my sins. At that moment, everything changed! That night my friends called me to go to the bar and I said, “No thanks!” I had never done that before.
Little by little, I noticed that I wasn’t interested in my old ways but that I wanted to please God—read my Bible, go to church and live right. The Spirit of God now living inside of me gave me power to live differently.
You may ask: Why didn’t I get saved (become a Christian) when I prayed that prayer in the movie theatre? I wasn’t willing back then to admit my guilt. I wasn’t willing to go God’s way. But I wanted His blessings! Thank goodness He didn’t give up on me.
Jesus has become my best Friend. He will never lie to me—use me—or abuse me. He keeps all of His promises and He has saved me for all eternity. It happened fourteen years ago and it will last forever.
so loved the world
that He gave His only begotten
that whosoever believeth in Him
should not perish but have everlasting life.
Time is short. Eternity is forever. I encourage you to seek the Lord while you can.
Editor’s Note: Becky Kew lives in Portage, Manitoba. She serves the Lord full-time as a commended worker. She works extensively in the community, in schools, First Nations communities, Gospel booths etc. Click here to contact Becky Kew.
Originally published in Indian Life Newspaper, September/October 2005.
Used with permission of the author. Copyright © 2005 Christianity.ca.